Lean into Your Life Already!
I started to write a few years ago to regain my memories I had lost, thinking journaling would help trigger some lost ones. It was like if you are watching a movie, but suddenly need to take a bathroom break. Your friend, watching it with you became distracted and you come back into the room and ask “What did I miss?” The reply “Huh?” You missed what you thought was an intricate part of the story, right?
It's the same with lost memories. Why had I lost them? Trauma. Simple. I thought I was missing out what might actually be important parts of my life, turns out they weren't really that important to who I am now.
As I wrote though I connected with people who had been through similar traumas. I connected with them, understood them I published books and was invited to events to be a speaker and I threw my life story out there to let others know they weren't alone, so they didn't feel alone like I had.
Slowly though over time as I was running towards my “triggers” they were still shying away from theirs. I wondered why... Why didn't they want to confront them, face them, heal them... Pick them apart and put them together.... tidier, neater, more compact, healed?
I found and I know some might like this when I say it but they had become addicted to victimhood. They had labelled themselves as victims, they were comfortable with it. It was a safe zone for them.
I didn't want to live in that “Safe Zone” I wanted to break the mould that my mother had tried so hard to give me.
So I leaned in, leaned into my past, leaned into my triggers. It was powerful! It was dissecting, painful, dirty and exhausting. The tears flowed like rivers. I would cry so hard I would gasp for air. I felt wrecked but I wanted to be me, the authentic me, the one that was born new and wrinkly with innocence and wide eyes. I wanted to discover who the real me was and I found her, she had been lying within me, fetal position curled up like a budding fern. Slowly, over time I unfolded. I grew stronger and unfurled, stepping out of the psychic closet for good and saying “This is me!”
So many of us are scared but we cannot live in the place of victimhood for the rest of our lives! If we stay there where do we go? Nowhere! If we don't try and spread our wings and try them how do we know if we can fly?
You are pure, real, beautiful! The universe doesn't make mistakes so why would it start with you?
I'm not a mistake and neither are are you. Have we made wrong choices sure! We are not infallible to mistakes and wrong choices. If I hadn't been through the traumas I wouldn't be the Claire I am now, in no way perfect but I am now my authentic self and so can you be. You can be the way the universe intended you to be imperfectly perfect, real, true and heart-centred.
Instead of remaining to be a victim, choose to be a heart-centred warrior filled with love, passion and empathy. Light the way, show the way forward for all those who are struggling but don't want to remain victims. Show them there is a light to be true to themselves.
Lean into your life already! It's waiting for you!
Are you ready to lean into your life?